change, change, change

Change is inevitable. Change is constant.
How many times have we heard this in our lives?

Webster’s dictionary defines change as the act, process, or result of changing---an alteration, transformation, or substitution. Would we be who we are today without change? Absolutely not. Changes in our lives can break us, mold us, and in the end, they let us become, well…us. Good and bad changes. Happy and sad changes. Easy and difficult changes. Heart-warming and heart-breaking changes. No matter the type of changes, they make up our lives more than we know.

The theme of my second year of college has been change. Of course, you could probably also say that moving to college and my whole first year was based around change, duh. But, this whole year so far has been the perfect example of how things are constantly changing, for the good and the bad. As I’m writing this, and in the past few months, I keep thinking about last year and the things I did, the friends I had, the way I felt, just everything, and it can’t even compare to this year. So much, SO MUCH has changed since then. It’s kinda crazy and scary really.

What’s the most obvious change to me? My relationship with my Savior.
It has evolved, matured, and I think I am beginning to truly see my calling in life. It’s amazing to look at all of the things I have accomplished in Him and how He has been using me the past year, through various opportunities and experiences. Even looking back two or three years, it’s absolutely astounding to see myself and Him now.  He continues to bless me, even when I don’t deserve it or appreciate it and I am eager to see what He has in store for me in the future!

I wake up each day, and I rarely see how blessed I really am with the people that are in my life right now. Some of the most wonderful and happiest, yet sometimes painful changes I have experienced this year have been involving relationships in my life. All of my relationships continue and continue to change and when I think about it, it makes me smile, but then other times, makes me upset to think about it. I have new people in my life and then some people have slowly went out of it. This time last year, my closest friends don’t match up with the set of people I consider my closest friends at this very moment. We’ve grown apart, moved on, really found out who each other is, and as a result of that, I don’t have that “closeness” with some people anymore. In some way, I feel like this was meant to happen. The relationships that have resulted from growing apart from other people in my life have caused me to become much more closer with different people and these relationships have been like no others I have ever been in. These friendships are more than what they look like from the outside. There are those connections, where you just know you’ve have got it right. It’s those types of relationships that make your heart smile.

You have that deep trust, a feeling of comfort in telling them absolutely everything. A sense of sadness comes over you when you go more than a day without seeing or talking to them. You experience those times when you laugh and laugh with them, over anything and everything. Sometimes, they may upset or hurt you in small or big ways, but in the end none of it really matters because forgiveness is always there and you love them no matter what. And you finally reach that point with them when being the cheesiest friend ever doesn’t even bother you anymore.

As much as I miss those relationships I have had in the past, I don’t regret anything that has led me into the wonderful relationships that are right here, right now. Now, do I think there will be a time when we will never grow apart in some way? Of course not. Every relationship has its strains and difficulties, causing some distance, but I don’t think they will ever go away forever. I don’t know about the other sides’ thoughts are on this matter, but I’m in this for the long run and I plan on keeping some of the most amazing people I’ve ever came across in my life forever, by doing anything and everything I can.

So, once again I say:
Change is inevitable. Change is constant.

BRING IT ON!

dependence

So, independence is a big theme in our culture today right? Right. We all tend to have a "I can do it myself attitude". I am beyond guilty of this with certain situations. A lot of times I have the mindset that I can do anything by myself, with the help of no one or nothing. What is that? It's basically the worst kind of stubbornness. I'm sure I'm not the only one who struggles with this sometimes. We value that independence in our society today. We need people in our lives to rely on and go to when we need to. We need to depend on them. And most importantly realize that we depend entirely on God for our every breath, every thought, and every move. 
Think back to Adam. God created Eve for companionship and throughout history, He has continued to interfere in the ways of personal relationships to show that we were created to be relational beings. My Mosaic Bible puts it like this, really well: "While relationship doesn't demand the sacrifice of independence, it offers the gift of meeting our inadequacies. In such moments of weakness, we realize the strength of dependence."


I love Psalm 121. I love it. I think I love it. Yeah, I love it.
It's reassuring. It's comforting. It's just one of those Psalms that make you feel good inside. Just sayin! 


¹ I look up to the mountains—
      does my help come from there?
 ² My help comes from the Lord,
      who made heaven and earth!
 ³ He will not let you stumble;
      the one who watches over you will not slumber.
 ⁴ Indeed, he who watches over Israel
      never slumbers or sleeps.
 ⁵ The Lord himself watches over you!
      The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.
 ⁶ The sun will not harm you by day,
      nor the moon at night.
 ⁷ The Lord keeps you from all harm
      and watches over your life.
 ⁸ The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go,
      both now and forever.

The Mosaic is just awesome. It always introduces me to people that have influenced Christianity by writings in the past. This prayer is from Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who was amazing. Look him up!

I Cannot Do This Alone
O God, early in the morning I cry to you.
Help me to pray
And to concentrate my thoughts on you;
I cannot do this alone.


In me there is darkness,
But with you there is light;
I am lonely, but you do not leave me;
I am feeble in heart, but with you there is help;
I am restless, but with you there is peace.
In me there is bitterness, but with you there is patience;
I do not understand your ways,
But you know the way for me....


Restore me to liberty,
And enable me to live now
That I may answer before you and before men.
Lord, whatever this day may bring,
Your name be praised.
Amen.

lent it up

"People do not live by bread alone; rather, we live by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord."

-Deuteronomy 8:3

Well, tomorrow is the day. Lent starts! And while it is so not Baptist of me to observe it, I am looking forward to the next 40 days, before Easter. So, what am I giving up for 40 days? Why thank you for asking!

Bye bye music. For 40. whole. days.
Yeah, there are some exceptions to that though. I can't very well not play my trombone for 40 days, considering I'm studying music. That wouldn't fly with Dr. G and the music department. I'm simply only listening to music that glorifies God. Will it be difficult for me? You better believe it. I'm ready though! I'm looking forward to the time I'll have with the Lord more. It's a time to reflect, a time to sacrifice for Him. I'm also starting to pray the hours within the next couple of days. Yeahhh.


"Show me the suffering of the most miserable;
So I will know my people's plight.
Free me to pray for others;
For you are present in every person.
Help me to take responsibility for my own life;
So that I can be free at last.
Give me honest and patience;
So that I can work with other workers.
Bring forth song and celebration;
So that the Spirit will be alive among us.
Let the Spirit flourish and grow;
So that we will never tire of the struggle.
Let us remember those who have died for justice;
For they have given us life.
Help us love even those who hate us;
So we can change the world.
Amen."
-Cesar Chavez

here am i

What up peeps! The choir at Spring Hill sang this song this morning and I had to share it. Good stuff, indeed.

Lord, Here Am I
(John Ness Beck)

Master, Thou callest, I gladly obey; only direct me, and I'll find Thy way.
Teach me the mission appointed for me, what is my labor, and where it shall be.
Master, Thou callest, and this I reply, "Ready and willing Lord, here am I."
Willing, my Savior, to take up the cross; willing to suffer reproaches and loss.
Willing to follow, if Thou will be lead; only support me with grace in my need.
Master, Thou callest, and this I reply, "Ready and willing Lord, here am I."
Living or dying, I still would be Thine, yet I am mortal while Thou art divine.
Pardon, whenever I turn from the right; pity, and bring me again to the light.
Master, Thou callest, and this I reply, "Ready and willing Lord, here am I."


So, I started rereading a book I attempted to read in the fall, before my "read absolutely everything" phase kicked in, and I am in love! It's a book about the tradition of praying the hours, to begin discerning God's presence in everything. It's challenging me, and I love books that do that. How often do we legitimately focus when we pray on listening to God? I'm the worst at this. I pray, but a billion other things are going through my head at the exact same time. Distractions and fear are keeping me from seeing God's work in and around me. I'm starting the hours pretty soon, and paying attention to God! Lent starts Wednesday...just saying. :)

So praying the hours is a traditional Catholic thing, but what's wrong with having a set structure on when to pray? Yeah, nothing at all! I think it's a wonderful thing. Trust me, at first I thought it was kind of crazy, considering a couple of times you pray. You'll see why in a minute. The guy who wrote this book tells stories of how he started incorporating the hours into his life and how immediately it started changing the way he listened to God and how he started noticing things more. It's just amazing.

Here is the setup: (in case you've never heard of this) [also, I think there is a few different systems]

Vigils- about 3am
Lauds- greeting the beginning of the day
Prime- the start of the day's work
Terce- the third hour, perhaps midmorning
Sext- midday
None- midafternoon
Vespers- as the day is over and evening comes
Compline- when the day is complete and sleep begins

Waking up to pray at 3am? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING.

My thoughts exactly, until I thought about it. It obviously takes a lot of discipline to do such a thing. I can't imagine how refreshing it would be to pray in the middle of the night like that. Monks arise at 3am every morning and pray for hours, until Lauds. Hmm...interesting.

There are of course different things you pray for each time, but I'll explain those later. What do yall think? Cool, right? Yes maam.