sight or write

So there I was- Carpe Diem.
I'm pretty sure I spend more time there than my apartment. There's just something about it. It's warm, inviting, and I love the atmosphere. I can't really describe it, but it's just wonderful, believe me.

I got my cup of Guatemalan coffee, filled it with brown sugar and milk, which is super healthy by the way. I then took my seat to study for my communication theory test in the a.m. You all have been to coffee shops. You can't help but overhear what others are talking about and no, that's not eavesdropping. I call it hearing with a purpose. Copyright that. I overheard a young girl talking about her dreams and plans as she takes that next step in life, known as college. I was in her same shoes, almost three years ago. Three years ago. Is this real life? I couldn't possibly have been in college that long. This aspiring person spoke of the same plan I had- optometry. Oh, but let me tell you, the poor thing confused optometry and ophthalmology. Being the nerd that I am, I instantly wanted to correct her. I restrained myself from that though. After hearing her talk about this, I got to wondering. Did I truly make the right choice by not going into optometry? I loved it, so much, and I still do and I just knew that was my destined path after shadowing an optometrist for months my senior year of high school.

It's probably not healthy, but at random times, I ask myself- what if? What if I hadn't of listened to God and kept going on that path? Where would I be right now? When I ask myself these questions, I feel slightly uneasy, but then instantly I remember. I find comfort in knowing that I surrendered to God and His plan for my life, ceasing to follow MY plan. Journalism, though? Really? Print journalism at that... You have to be kidding. I challenge you to jump in a time machine and go back and ask me when I was a measly high school kid, if I'd ever write for the rest of my life. The answer there would be be the obvious one. This is where I can see myself and how much I've changed. Then, I would have said no for the obvious reason. There isn't any money in journalism. How am I going to get all the things I want? Then, I cared. Right now, I could care less. I am in journalism, because I love it and it's where God has put me. Don't get me wrong, I sometimes think about the money issue, but I don't stress about it. God WILL provide. I know that.

People ask me what I plan on doing after I graduate, which is only a year and a half away. Can you believe that? That's scary and exciting at the same time. I always have the same response to them- I have no idea. Should I know though? The past couple of years, I've learned to plan less in my life and just let God have full control. Isn't it a beautiful thing to know which doors will open and close for you? I'm not saying it's easy, believe me. And if anyone has a harder time trusting God, it's me, but I have a peace about where I'm at and I know God will provide what I need, just like He always does. And in those times where I am anxious about the future, He constantly reassures me of His promises. And I am extremely thankful for those reminders. One of my favorite people revolves around Deuteronomy 31:8, "It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed." Those words are powerful. The Lord goes before you, in everything you will face. He will never leave you. You will never be alone. Why should we ever be afraid? The stress and worries melt away each time I read that verse.

shalom

Now, you know I am all about learning about church practices, throughout different denominations, especially the ancient ones, but the past few months I have become completely fascinated with anything to do with liturgy! Yes, how very un-Baptist of me, but oh well. I personally believe that if something helps you grow spiritually, why not take part in it? I like the structure of liturgy, the prayers, everything. Don't hate. It's interesting. I think everyone should at least read up on liturgy and see what's it all about.

Anyways, a couple of months ago I got this liturgy book, that is awesome. "Common Prayer: A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals", by Shane Claiborne has a little bit of everything in it for liturgical purposes. It has a plan for mornings, along with evening prayers and prayers designated for specific purposes. And while it's made for a group of people to do together, considering liturgy means public worship, I enjoy doing it by myself. The morning setup consists of prayers listed, singing a hymn (all the classics are in the back of the book to reference to), reading/singing/praying a part of a Psalm, two different Scripture readings, praying for others, and a closing prayer. It's pretty rad, if I do say so myself. I have found myself enjoying structure in everything I do spiritually now and this is perfect for me.

At the beginning of each month, there is an intro to the month's liturgy and it usually has a theme. This month's theme is peace, and I had to share it with you devoted readers. All two or three of you. Such sweet people you are...

PEACEMAKING
        Peace is not just about the absence of conflict; it's also about the presence of justice. Martin Luther King, Jr. even distinguished between "the devil's peace" and God's true peace. A counterfeit peace exists when people are pacified or distracted or so beat up and tired of fighting that all seems calm. But true peace does not exist until there is justice, restoration, forgiveness. Peacemaking doesn't mean passivity. It is the act of interrupting injustice without mirroring injustice, the act of disarming evil without destroying the evildoer, the act of finding a third way that is neither fight nor flight, but the careful, arduous pursuit of reconciliation and justice. It is about a revolution of love that is big enough to set both the oppressed and the oppressors free.
        Peace is about being able to recognize in the face of the oppressed our own faces, and in the hands of the oppressors our own hands. Peace, like most beautiful things, begins small. Matthew 18 gives us a clear process for approaching someone who has hurt or offended us; first we are to talk directly with them, not at them or around them. Most communities that have been around a while (like a few decades or centuries) identify "straight talk," or creating an environment where people do not avoid conflict but speak honestly to one another, as one of the core values of healthy community. Straight talk is countercultural in a world that prefers politeness to honesty. In his Rule, Benedict of Nursia speaks passionately about the deadly poison of "murmuring" the negativity and dissension that can infect community and rot the fabric of love.
        Peacemaking begins with what we can change- ourselves. But it doesn't end there. We are to be peacemakers in a world riddled with violence. That means interrupting violence with imagination, on our streets and in our world. This peace that is "not like any way the empire brings peace" is rooted in the nonviolence in the nonviolence of the cross, where we see a Savior who loves his enemies so much he died for them. Peace is often not our instinct, which is why it must be cultivated and grown in us. Even Jesus' key disciple, Peter, picks up his sword when the soldiers approach Jesus. Jesus' response is brilliant; he scolds Peter, and then he heals the wounded persecutor, only to be dragged away and hung on a Roman cross. If ever there were a case for "just war" or justified violence to protect the innocent, Peter had it. Yet Jesus rebukes his logic of the sword.
        The early Christians said, "When Jesus disarmed Peter, he disarmed every Christian." For hundreds of years, Christians were never seen carrying swords, and they followed the way of the Prince of Peace even unto death, loving their enemies and blessing those who cursed them. It doesn't look like a good strategy for running an empire, but it is the narrow way that leads to life. Undoubtedly, it doesn't always seem to "work." As we look at history, and even as we read the Scriptures, there seems to be evidence that violence has worked at times and failed at times, just as nonviolence has worked at times and failed at times. In the end, the question is, which looks most like Jesus? For we are called not just to be successful but to faithful to the way of the cross, even unto death. The way of the cross did not seem to work on Friday, but the promise is that Sunday is coming. In the end, love wins.
        This can be hard to remember as we go about our lives. But the transfiguration reminds us how the disciples' eyes were opened to the reality of Jesus' power even before the resurrection. If we have eyes to see, the lightning that flashes east to west in the nonviolent coming of God can illuminate the world wherever we are. "If you are willing," one of the desert fathers said, "you can become all flame."

folk folk folk

Alright folks, if I give good advice on anything, I do believe it's music. It's my thing. Take my advice and look up these three bands/artists and listen to some of their stuff. It's good, trust me. Well, it's good according to my musical tastes. But, I'm awesome, so shouldn't all of these people be amazing? And if you already listen to/have listened to them, you rock. Five gold stars. You know I speak the truth. Okay...go.

#1: Mumford & Sons

Well, first off...they are British. That's instantly a good sign. Or it is to me. I'm an avid fan of British bands. They are very bluegrassy and folk rockish. Top 40 radio needs more bands like this playing constantly, to rid the world of all of pop rubbish. Yes, I'm guilty of listening to it, but it's incredibly bad. I mean really, is it necessary to T-Pain up every single song? Artists are missing the point of harnessing their talents and actually using them to their full potential. Ahh. My bad, I got on my soapbox for five seconds. I'm just saying though. Anyways, back to Mumford. Check them out. You've probably heard some songs by them and saw them at the Grammy's. They were nominated for best new artist. They are pretty deep, all in all. In their songwriting, they use tons of literary references. Good stuff... 

I recommend---
"Little Lion Man"
"Roll Away Your Stone"

"Awake My Soul"

#2: Brooke Fraser
I guess I'm into folk rock people these days. She's not as folk rockish as Mumford & Sons though. And don't judge me for saying "folk rockish." You know you secretly love it. Anywho, she is a blend of folk rock and pop and she is a Christian artist, but she has strived to stay distant from the Contemporary Christian Music scene though, which I can respect that. Her sound is just unique and so wonderful. All her albums are just splendid. I've been listening to them literally all day. No, but really. By the way, did I mention she is from New Zealand? Awesome. Go, go, go...look her up.
I recommend---
"Albertine"

"C.S. Lewis Song"

"Something in the Water"

#3: The Civil Wars
Yep, another folk band. They are more on the country folk side, rather than folk rock. They are very indie folkish. Alternative country...I'm a fan. Just so you know. It's the good type of country type music. So, in case you didn't know, they are a duo consisted of a guy and a chick. They harmonize super good, which automatically makes me love love love them. I don't even know how to describe how amazing they are. Just go listen to them now, alright?
I recommend---
"Barton Hollow"
"20 Years"
"Poison and Wine"

unum

"Earth is to be one race, one nation of believers. Earth as a whole is meant to be like this, not just bits and pieces of it, one village here, one town there, one country here, one denomination there. Christ's resurrection has created the possibility of a redeemed global humanity and despite all our diversity, it is unity and equality that are to be paramount." -Murray Andrew Pura

Ecumenism (oecumenism): a movement promoting unity among Christian churches or denominations.
touchy subject for some folks, mostly because they sometimes confuse it with the contrasting term-
Interfaith: a movement promoting worldwide unity among religions though greater cooperation and improved understanding.
Basically, all of this is somewhat controversial, depending on who you talk to about it.

I'm a fan of both Ecumenism and Interfaith...to a certain extent. You could probably say that I have conservative views on them. Yeah, I know...conservative...scary.

Here is what most people think the pattern of religious unity consists of:
1. A tolerant perspective of other denominations in Chrisitianity (Ecumenism).
2. Acceptance of cults.
3. Desire for unity within all religions (Interfaith).

Do you seriously think I will I ever accept a cult? No. And that is where I draw the line. Now people, unity is important. You know that, I know that. But, I know what the foundation of my faith is though, and I won't compromise that. In Christianity, I do think that each denomination should live in harmony with others. Despite all of our differences, regarding worship styles, practices, and the way we interpret the Scriptures, we should be united in by one thing- our faith in Jesus Christ. A single Christian church? I don't know how I feel about that. That is one of the literal meaning of Ecumenism though. I believe that God gives us unique personalities and the ability to worship and serve in whatever context necessary.


On the subject of Interfaith, I think that we should indeed coexist with one another. I believe that everyone has a right to be a Christian, Jew, Muslim, Atheist, or whatever he or she chooses to be. And while I believe this, I do believe that everyone should hear about Jesus Christ though. This should be done by persuasion of the power of the Holy Spirit, not by force or coercion of any kind. I will never, ever force my beliefs upon someone and that is something I feel strongly about. I think all Christians should respect other believers of other worldly religions, not condemning them with hate, but expressing love, to create a certain amount of unity among everyone.

I guess I'm done with ranting...for tonight.

peace and love, man.

      Most people are associated with a certain decade, according to their personality and such, and several people have told me in my lifetime that I should have been a part of the Sixties. I've always adored the Sixties and if only I could travel back in time to be a part of it. If only...sigh.
      I don't think anything could describe or tell the story of the Sixties as well as the music that was present during those years. From the British invasion of several different bands to the artists who led anti-war protests and promoted peace, the music of the Sixties was a reflection of the counterculture and social revolution during that time. I may be a tad bit cheesy, but I feel like honoring the music of this decade, by sharing five of my favorite songs from the era. Basically, what I'm really saying is, you haven't lived yet until you've listened to these songs. So listen to them okay? Okay, groovy.

1964:  "House of the Rising Sun", by the Animals

1967:  "White Rabbit", by Jefferson Airplane

1965:  "Turn! Turn! Turn!", by the Byrds

1963:  "Ring of Fire", by Johnny Cash

1962:  "Love Me Do", by the Beatles

small rebellions

It’s definitely been a hot minute since the last time I blogged. My deepest apologies go out to the one or two people that actually read my blog. Such a sad blogger existence that is my life… so much for my nerdy dream of my blog becoming famous one day. Now, don’t go telling everyone that the possibility of my blog becoming famous one day excites me. I only told you because we’re on that level to where you read my blogs. Yeah, that’s right. I said it.

Well, in case you’ve misplaced your calendar, been living in an underground cave for months, or really just haven’t been paying attention to the SWELTERING temperatures, it’s officially summer time. And by now, summer is basically half over. May and June literally flew by. Can I get an Amen? It’s July 10th. JULY 10th. What in the world? I’m pretty sure I was just stressing over my spring semester finals like yesterday.  That is crazy.

What have I done this summer? Why, you’re ever so thoughtful for asking. Well, I’ve definitely gotten a whole lot of rest, let me tell you. From having days upon days where Kristen and I would just be a bum at her apartment, to the times I watched full seasons of Dawson’s Creek within 48 hours, I’ve had some LEGIT chill time the last two months. And while I enjoy doing nothing, sometimes it’s the last thing I want to do.

Of course, my summer started out incredible, as I spent ten days in Jacmel, Haiti. As cliché as it sounds, it did change my life and I want to go back to that little orphanage every single day and see those sweet little faces. When we were there, the Haitian people kept telling us how much of a blessing we were to them by being there, but I think they were more of a blessing in our lives. As I am writing this, I am looking at pictures I have hanging up in my apartment of the kids, and I can’t help but smile, when I think of them. The time I spent with them was very little, but I love them so much.

After I returned from Haiti, I was excited to see all of my friends and family, but underneath all the excitement, I felt uneasy. As badly as I wanted to be home, at the same time I wanted to be back in Haiti. Along with that, I had a great sense of uncertainty, considering I had absolutely no plans for the summer. No summer missions plans. I wasn’t taking classes. I wasn’t planning on getting a job. The only hope I had to do something productive was to do WIRED again, but that fell through. I felt like I was going to waste my summer away. Every single day, I woke up telling myself, I should have done this, I should have done that. I was regretting the decisions I made regarding my summer, and I never ever regret things. It was very discouraging. I sit here writing this, and just like a great big puzzle (which I have been forced to do several times this summer, so sad), all of the pieces are coming together, and I am beginning to see why my summer has turned out like it has.

I’ve been growing all summer. No, not physically. Can you imagine me getting any taller? Honestly, I don’t think I or the world couldn’t handle that. I don’t know if it’s possible to mature to a certain extent over the course of a couple of months, but I am certain that it’s happening. I just feel different. There have been times where I have felt distant from God, only to have Him pull me even closer than I was ever before. He is showing me things that I never would have imagined. I feel like He is using the time I have this summer for something like spiritual renewal. I remember praying a short time ago, asking Him to send me anything that would reignite my passion for Him, ultimately bringing me closer to Him, away from all of the distractions I had at that time. After that cry to Him, I had one of the worst weeks imaginable. I didn’t see it then, but God had answered my prayer. As much as I hated and loathed those seven days, I am thankful for them. He was testing my faith in Him, and the trust I have in Him. It may sound odd, but I feel like I am becoming my own person. It’s like I’ve been searching for something all summer, and now, I have found it. I have a renewed sense of self and I’ve finally awaken from the comatose state in my faith. I am developing my own opinion on things now. I have my own beliefs on things regarding the Church, politics, etc, and I won’t compromise on them. I just feel amazing!

So far this summer, I’ve grown closer to some people, while some relationships have just completely ended. I’ve tie-dyed shirts and socks; modge podged a couple of random things. Books and books have been read. My apartment has been semi-redecorated. I’ve eaten a lot of Moe’s and listened to tons of Jars of Clay. Met some cool freshmen at orientation and made a lot of stuff out of bandanas. And most of all, I’ve rediscovered, with a craving passion, the reason why I am on this earth…

all to thee

We've all been in church services. We've experienced the invitation time at the end of the sermon. And you know exactly what hymns are on the cycle to be played during that time each and every Sunday. Be honest with yourselves. And I'm completely guilty of this sometimes, so I won't deny it. Most of the time, you completely ignore anything that is happening in that invitation, because it is the end of the service and you are ready to go get some lunch. Oh yeah, I just went there. Don't act like you've never done that! Anyways, my point is that the hymns used in the invitation part of the service are some of the best ones out there and that's exactly why they are used then. They are responsive. They are the most memorable. Just As I Am; Have Thine Own Way, Lord,; Softly and Tenderly, Jesus is Calling; What a Friend We Have in Jesus- CLASSICS! This is tieing into my main point, eventually.

As weeks go by, every couple of weeks or so, my life seems to develop a theme and revolve around a single word that describes how I feel, what I'm dealing with, or what is happening, for a certain amount of time, and then I move onto a different word. It may seem odd, but I think it is pretty awesome. I think about that word, dive into it, and it really gives me a new perspective on things. Don't judge! Anywho, my word right now is surrender. Completely surrendering to God and His will for me. The past few weeks, and really the past month, I have seen myself completely ignore and look over what God has for me, to focus on what I want, living selfishly. I have been needing to just break completely down and be humble before my God, and surrender every single thing to Him. My mind has just been cloudy lately, full of things that just seem pointless now, things that I have worried about, stressed over, and just completely dwelled on for weeks, when my mind should have been clear and on God. 

Thoughts of what I will do after I graduate college are always on my mind, and yes, I know I'm only a sophomore, but it's never too early to think about it, and who will tell me that plans don't change? Yeah, exactly. These same thoughts never go away, and when I think I have it figured out, I doubt myself. Why do I doubt myself? Because I am scared. I'm not trusting God with this, when I know for sure this is what He has made me to do. I have a calling...

Surrender is a pretty legit word. It's intense, just like the actual meaning. And it's hard. This surrender is taking me time, to clear my mind, to get priorities in order. He is revealing things I never would have thought He would show me...

What's my favorite invitation hymn? So glad you asked... I Surrender All! Have you ever read and actually taken in the words? Beautiful...

All to Jesus I surrender; 
 all to him I freely give; 
 I will ever love and trust him, 
 in his presence daily live. 

 I surrender all, I surrender all, 
 all to thee, my blessed Savior, 
 I surrender all. 

 All to Jesus I surrender; 
 humbly at his feet I bow, 
 worldly pleasures all forsaken; 
 take me, Jesus, take me now. 

All to Jesus I surrender; 
 make me, Savior, wholly thine; 
 fill me with thy love and power; 
 truly know that thou art mine. 

All to Jesus I surrender; 
 Lord, I give myself to thee; 
 fill me with thy love and power; 
 let thy blessing fall on me. 
 

All to Jesus I surrender; 
 now I feel the sacred flame. 
 O the joy of full salvation! 
 Glory, glory, to his name! 

change, change, change

Change is inevitable. Change is constant.
How many times have we heard this in our lives?

Webster’s dictionary defines change as the act, process, or result of changing---an alteration, transformation, or substitution. Would we be who we are today without change? Absolutely not. Changes in our lives can break us, mold us, and in the end, they let us become, well…us. Good and bad changes. Happy and sad changes. Easy and difficult changes. Heart-warming and heart-breaking changes. No matter the type of changes, they make up our lives more than we know.

The theme of my second year of college has been change. Of course, you could probably also say that moving to college and my whole first year was based around change, duh. But, this whole year so far has been the perfect example of how things are constantly changing, for the good and the bad. As I’m writing this, and in the past few months, I keep thinking about last year and the things I did, the friends I had, the way I felt, just everything, and it can’t even compare to this year. So much, SO MUCH has changed since then. It’s kinda crazy and scary really.

What’s the most obvious change to me? My relationship with my Savior.
It has evolved, matured, and I think I am beginning to truly see my calling in life. It’s amazing to look at all of the things I have accomplished in Him and how He has been using me the past year, through various opportunities and experiences. Even looking back two or three years, it’s absolutely astounding to see myself and Him now.  He continues to bless me, even when I don’t deserve it or appreciate it and I am eager to see what He has in store for me in the future!

I wake up each day, and I rarely see how blessed I really am with the people that are in my life right now. Some of the most wonderful and happiest, yet sometimes painful changes I have experienced this year have been involving relationships in my life. All of my relationships continue and continue to change and when I think about it, it makes me smile, but then other times, makes me upset to think about it. I have new people in my life and then some people have slowly went out of it. This time last year, my closest friends don’t match up with the set of people I consider my closest friends at this very moment. We’ve grown apart, moved on, really found out who each other is, and as a result of that, I don’t have that “closeness” with some people anymore. In some way, I feel like this was meant to happen. The relationships that have resulted from growing apart from other people in my life have caused me to become much more closer with different people and these relationships have been like no others I have ever been in. These friendships are more than what they look like from the outside. There are those connections, where you just know you’ve have got it right. It’s those types of relationships that make your heart smile.

You have that deep trust, a feeling of comfort in telling them absolutely everything. A sense of sadness comes over you when you go more than a day without seeing or talking to them. You experience those times when you laugh and laugh with them, over anything and everything. Sometimes, they may upset or hurt you in small or big ways, but in the end none of it really matters because forgiveness is always there and you love them no matter what. And you finally reach that point with them when being the cheesiest friend ever doesn’t even bother you anymore.

As much as I miss those relationships I have had in the past, I don’t regret anything that has led me into the wonderful relationships that are right here, right now. Now, do I think there will be a time when we will never grow apart in some way? Of course not. Every relationship has its strains and difficulties, causing some distance, but I don’t think they will ever go away forever. I don’t know about the other sides’ thoughts are on this matter, but I’m in this for the long run and I plan on keeping some of the most amazing people I’ve ever came across in my life forever, by doing anything and everything I can.

So, once again I say:
Change is inevitable. Change is constant.

BRING IT ON!

dependence

So, independence is a big theme in our culture today right? Right. We all tend to have a "I can do it myself attitude". I am beyond guilty of this with certain situations. A lot of times I have the mindset that I can do anything by myself, with the help of no one or nothing. What is that? It's basically the worst kind of stubbornness. I'm sure I'm not the only one who struggles with this sometimes. We value that independence in our society today. We need people in our lives to rely on and go to when we need to. We need to depend on them. And most importantly realize that we depend entirely on God for our every breath, every thought, and every move. 
Think back to Adam. God created Eve for companionship and throughout history, He has continued to interfere in the ways of personal relationships to show that we were created to be relational beings. My Mosaic Bible puts it like this, really well: "While relationship doesn't demand the sacrifice of independence, it offers the gift of meeting our inadequacies. In such moments of weakness, we realize the strength of dependence."


I love Psalm 121. I love it. I think I love it. Yeah, I love it.
It's reassuring. It's comforting. It's just one of those Psalms that make you feel good inside. Just sayin! 


¹ I look up to the mountains—
      does my help come from there?
 ² My help comes from the Lord,
      who made heaven and earth!
 ³ He will not let you stumble;
      the one who watches over you will not slumber.
 ⁴ Indeed, he who watches over Israel
      never slumbers or sleeps.
 ⁵ The Lord himself watches over you!
      The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.
 ⁶ The sun will not harm you by day,
      nor the moon at night.
 ⁷ The Lord keeps you from all harm
      and watches over your life.
 ⁸ The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go,
      both now and forever.

The Mosaic is just awesome. It always introduces me to people that have influenced Christianity by writings in the past. This prayer is from Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who was amazing. Look him up!

I Cannot Do This Alone
O God, early in the morning I cry to you.
Help me to pray
And to concentrate my thoughts on you;
I cannot do this alone.


In me there is darkness,
But with you there is light;
I am lonely, but you do not leave me;
I am feeble in heart, but with you there is help;
I am restless, but with you there is peace.
In me there is bitterness, but with you there is patience;
I do not understand your ways,
But you know the way for me....


Restore me to liberty,
And enable me to live now
That I may answer before you and before men.
Lord, whatever this day may bring,
Your name be praised.
Amen.

lent it up

"People do not live by bread alone; rather, we live by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord."

-Deuteronomy 8:3

Well, tomorrow is the day. Lent starts! And while it is so not Baptist of me to observe it, I am looking forward to the next 40 days, before Easter. So, what am I giving up for 40 days? Why thank you for asking!

Bye bye music. For 40. whole. days.
Yeah, there are some exceptions to that though. I can't very well not play my trombone for 40 days, considering I'm studying music. That wouldn't fly with Dr. G and the music department. I'm simply only listening to music that glorifies God. Will it be difficult for me? You better believe it. I'm ready though! I'm looking forward to the time I'll have with the Lord more. It's a time to reflect, a time to sacrifice for Him. I'm also starting to pray the hours within the next couple of days. Yeahhh.


"Show me the suffering of the most miserable;
So I will know my people's plight.
Free me to pray for others;
For you are present in every person.
Help me to take responsibility for my own life;
So that I can be free at last.
Give me honest and patience;
So that I can work with other workers.
Bring forth song and celebration;
So that the Spirit will be alive among us.
Let the Spirit flourish and grow;
So that we will never tire of the struggle.
Let us remember those who have died for justice;
For they have given us life.
Help us love even those who hate us;
So we can change the world.
Amen."
-Cesar Chavez

here am i

What up peeps! The choir at Spring Hill sang this song this morning and I had to share it. Good stuff, indeed.

Lord, Here Am I
(John Ness Beck)

Master, Thou callest, I gladly obey; only direct me, and I'll find Thy way.
Teach me the mission appointed for me, what is my labor, and where it shall be.
Master, Thou callest, and this I reply, "Ready and willing Lord, here am I."
Willing, my Savior, to take up the cross; willing to suffer reproaches and loss.
Willing to follow, if Thou will be lead; only support me with grace in my need.
Master, Thou callest, and this I reply, "Ready and willing Lord, here am I."
Living or dying, I still would be Thine, yet I am mortal while Thou art divine.
Pardon, whenever I turn from the right; pity, and bring me again to the light.
Master, Thou callest, and this I reply, "Ready and willing Lord, here am I."


So, I started rereading a book I attempted to read in the fall, before my "read absolutely everything" phase kicked in, and I am in love! It's a book about the tradition of praying the hours, to begin discerning God's presence in everything. It's challenging me, and I love books that do that. How often do we legitimately focus when we pray on listening to God? I'm the worst at this. I pray, but a billion other things are going through my head at the exact same time. Distractions and fear are keeping me from seeing God's work in and around me. I'm starting the hours pretty soon, and paying attention to God! Lent starts Wednesday...just saying. :)

So praying the hours is a traditional Catholic thing, but what's wrong with having a set structure on when to pray? Yeah, nothing at all! I think it's a wonderful thing. Trust me, at first I thought it was kind of crazy, considering a couple of times you pray. You'll see why in a minute. The guy who wrote this book tells stories of how he started incorporating the hours into his life and how immediately it started changing the way he listened to God and how he started noticing things more. It's just amazing.

Here is the setup: (in case you've never heard of this) [also, I think there is a few different systems]

Vigils- about 3am
Lauds- greeting the beginning of the day
Prime- the start of the day's work
Terce- the third hour, perhaps midmorning
Sext- midday
None- midafternoon
Vespers- as the day is over and evening comes
Compline- when the day is complete and sleep begins

Waking up to pray at 3am? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING.

My thoughts exactly, until I thought about it. It obviously takes a lot of discipline to do such a thing. I can't imagine how refreshing it would be to pray in the middle of the night like that. Monks arise at 3am every morning and pray for hours, until Lauds. Hmm...interesting.

There are of course different things you pray for each time, but I'll explain those later. What do yall think? Cool, right? Yes maam.

everything

I've came to this conclusion-

I'm not the type of person that has trust issues when it comes to friendships, or any type of relationships, but I'm also not the person who will trust any person I come across. Trust takes time, tons of devotion on both ends, and a lot of hard work. Blah, blah, blah, I know I'm telling you stuff you already know, but I have a point so stick with me! Once you develop this trust, it seems easy to just put everything into this person, or people you trust. You feel me? We all have certain relationships that are like this, and I personally think they warm the heart. (Excuse my cheese...) I have a question. Do we completely and I mean completely have a trust like this with our God? Do we confide in Him with everything? Do we trust Him with everything? Everyone? 

What is the one thing in life that I struggle with the most? Yep, you got me. 

Trusting God.

Should be easy right? Not for me. It's not that I ever doubt God and what He can do, it's just the fact that I have it in my head that I can do everything by myself, without His help. Worrying Wanda? That's my other name. Stressing Samantha? You are correct. Worrying and stressing out about things is no more than not trusting God with everything that's on your plate. I am beyond guilty of this. If I were on trial for this, the sentence would be fifty to life. I see myself not trusting Him in  my prayer life too. I'm sure I'm not the only person who does this, but how often do we hold things in while praying because we think they won't be answered? The biggest thing I find myself not trusting God with is people. It's the hardest thing ever to see someone you love hurting, knowing you can't do anything, when you want to do everything. Why don't we just leave everything up to God? I was recently given a book by one of my favs that is basically love letters from God, dealing with different things in life. How odd was it that tonight I ran across this one:

My Princess, trust me with those who you love.

I know your heart and I know how much you love those close to you. I am your Creator and the Giver of every good gift. I have given you loved ones to share your life with. But you, My child, must remember that those you love ultimately belong to me--not to you. I didn't give you those special relationships to tear you apart or to control you through fear of the future. Like Abraham did with his only son, Isaac, I need you to open your heart and five back to Me those you love. Trust me with everything that concerns you regarding them. Place your hand in Mine, and I promise I will walk you--and your loved ones--through all things this life brings.

Love,

Your trustworthy King

take a sad song & make it better

So, here are my top ten all-time favorite Beatles songs. Please contain your excitement! Calm down, really. I only went in depth with the top five though. Enjoy! Go listen to all of these asap. I'm not kidding...

10. "I Saw Her Standing There", on Please Please Me
9. "Hey Jude", on Past Masters 1 & 2
8. "Blackbird", on The Beatles (White Album)
7. "Let it Be", on Let it Be
6. "Yesterday", on Help!

5. "Eleanor Rigby", on Revolver

“All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong.”

Alright, this song is semi-depressing. Hello, it’s talking about loneliness. It’s awesome though! Only timing in at a little of two minutes, it may be one of the shortest songs the Beatles ever wrote, but it is certainly not one of the least impacting. Fun fact- none of the four played any instruments on this tune. And while Lennon and Harrison contributed to the harmonies of the song, the song only consisted of a double string quartet. It is often described as a “lament for lonely people” or a “commentary on post-war life in Britain”. “Eleanor Rigby” was a breakthrough song for the Beatles on their Revolver album, from pop tunes to more experimental songs. 

4. "All You Need is Love", on Magical Mystery Tour

“There’s nothing you can know that isn’t known. Nothing you can see, that isn’t shown. Nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be. It’s easy. All you need is love.”

If you were to ask a group of people to name a couple of Beatles songs, at the top of their head, odds are this song would be one of them. This song is one of the best known and most recognized Beatles songs out there. The Fab Four deliver a powerful message, in such a simple song. Because if we think about it, in all reality, the only thing we really need in this life is love. ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE. Say we had to get rid of everything we had. What would still be there? Love. Yes, yes, yes. “All You Need is Love” was first performed on Our World, the first global television link. John Lennon was all about making slogans to send a message to the world, such as “Give peace a chance” and “Power to the people” and this song was no different. Lennon wrote it to send this message to the world, that all you need is love.

3. "A Day in the Life", on Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

"And somebody spoke and I went into a dream..."

If a single Beatles song could simply be described as epic, this would be the one. This song tore down so many barriers from their other songs, and was so different than the others. This was another song included in the psychedelic rock genre of the times, that helped define the genre all together. One of the most interesting things about this song is that it included a full forty piece orchestra. The musical score for the orchestra was compiled of twenty four bars. At the start and throughout the orchestra part, the musicians were asked to play the lowest not possible, and at the end, they were asked to play the highest. The result coming from this was “mad”, for this was how the musicians felt about it. At the end of the orchestral crescendo, the chord that ringed out was one of the most famous chords ever played in a song, and rings outs for good amount of time, which in my opinion, ended one of the best songs in all of history.

2.  "While My Guitar Gently Weeps", on The Beatles (White Album)

“In every mistake, we must surely be learning.”

Words can barely express how much I love love love this song. I wouldn’t call it a ballad, but it is far from an ordinary Beatles tune. The guitar parts, along with Ringo’s drumming, the excellent harmonies, and the introductory piano part, makes this song not only one of my all-time Beatles’ songs but one of my favorite songs ever, out of everything. The song was written by George Harrison, and fun fact: Eric Clapton was featured on it, on lead guitar. George Harrison said he opened a random book and began to write the song. Here is what he said about it: "I wrote "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" at my mother's house in Warrington. I was thinking about the Chinese I Ching, the Book of Changes... The Eastern concept is that whatever happens is all meant to be, and that there's no such thing as coincidence - every little item that's going down has a purpose.

"While My Guitar Gently Weeps" was a simple study based on that theory. I decided to write a song based on the first thing I saw upon opening any book - as it would be a relative to that moment, at that time. I picked up a book at random, opened it, saw 'gently weeps', then laid the book down again and started the song."

...and the moment you've been waiting for. 

1. "Strawberry Fields Forever", on Magical Mystery Tour

“Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see.”

Shocker? It is to some people that have asked me. They just knew it would be “I Am the Walrus” because they consider that the most trippy Beatles song, and that might be true, but when it comes to trippy Beatles tunes, this one takes the cake. Are the trippy songs the ones that most people pay attention to? Probably. Is that why I picked this song to be my favorite Beatles song of all-time? No way. I have multiple, upon multiple reasons for choosing this song. Strawberry Fields Forever is more than just a Beatles classic. It represents everything that the Beatles were to me. I don’t think a band has or will ever evolve like the Beatles did in their years of music. Strawberry Fields Forever is a prime example of how their music and lives developed over their years together. 

This song was groundbreaking for music and is regarded as one of the finest works of the psychedelic rock genre that evolved in the 60’s. It was written by John Lennon, and inspired by memories of him playing in the garden of a Salvation Army house, that was named “Strawberry Field”, near his home in Liverpool. Interesting instruments used in the song included the mellotron, which is a polyphonic keyboard/piano, that McCartney played the intro with, and also ends with the fading of a guitar, cello, and swarmandal. The swarmandal is an Indian harp. This was also used in “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds”, “Within You Without You”, and several other timeless classics. George Harrison, lead guitar player, began experiencing with Middle Eastern music at some point, and soon started to incorporating it into the Beatles’ songs. 

There you have it! I'm sure this changed your life. Enjoy!  :)

you are always good

Hmm...so when is the last time I blogged? Over a month ago. Sad, I know. Don't judge me. You don't know the busy life of Taylor Hamm. After I typed that I realized that I've been on break for the past month, therefore I really wasn't busy at all. Oh well, I was just too lazy to blog then. The truth comes out... But since we're being honest, I've really become attached to my journals the past few months, more than I've usually been, and that's probably the main reason for me being lame and not writing blogs as much I used to! So, with great sadness, I will gladly say boo on myself. Shame shame shame. Anywho, now onto my life, because I hope that is what you magnificent followers have come here to read about. Yeah, I'm awesome. Don't remind me all the time. Sheesh.

Christmas break-
I have three words to perfectly describe it.
1. relaxing
2. rejuvenating
3. interesting/flippin awesome

I feel no shame, due to the fact that two out of those three mainly refer to sleep/rest. Why? Because that is what I did a big part of the time I spent at home. The last three or four weeks, heck, the last couple of months of fall semester were so exhausting. Between marching band, lack of sleep, and studying like crazy to make it through rock class, I was ready to sleep for a week straight after finals. Being at home for a little over three weeks was great. Good times with family and old friends. By the way, it's odd referring to high school friends as old friends now. Just saying. From hanging out at Mama Sue's, getting smoothies with the smoothie club, and having lunch dates with folks to catch up, break was incredible! Those countless hours spent at Koinonia with one of the most amazing people ever weren't too bad either... :)

My favorite part of break? Having some good quality time with God. It had been absolutely forever since I actually just sat down, relaxed, and dug into the Word, without any distractions at all. It was amazing to be able to do that every day for three weeks. By doing this, it really rejuvenated me in different ways. I'm pretty sure that I grew majorly in my relationship with Him during the time at home. I found my self praying more and more, researching every little thing I found interesting in Scripture, and  I was so focused on Him, and because of this, when I returned to Mobile, I remained focused and continued to have that time with Him every day, when the past semester I had been neglecting that.

Ask anyone this, what do I hate? Reading books. I've never liked it. Yeah, I know, strange, considering my mom has bookcases upon bookcases of books that she reads like crazy. Should be in my genes to read alot, right? Not. Anyways, I decided that over the break, I would actually try reading a couple of books, to possibly break my habit of hating to read. My goal of reading two books over the course of three weeks, turned into me reading four books, and two more books within the first couple of weeks of school. Can you believe it? Yeah, me either. Anyone would probably say that the process of shopping for books to read is an easy one. Hello, just pick books that interest you. Duh. I'll buy books, no problem with that. But borrowing them is a pleasant option as well. Did God know which books I was going to read? No doubt. I'm fairly certain that He told me which ones to read/borrow/buy. Why? The books I have read so far have challenged me more than you can imagine. If a book could possibly stick out a hand to slap you and wake you up, then all of the books I have read would have most definitely done that. They have been just what I've needed.

What books did I read? Why thank you for asking!
1. Mere Christianity, by C.S. Lewis
2. Revolution in World Missions, by KP Yohannan
3. The Power of Persistence: Breakthroughs in Your Prayer Life, by Michael Catt
4. The Vertical Self, by Mark Sayers
5. Forgotten God, by Francis Chan
6. Peppermint Filled Pinatas, by Eric Michael Bryant
and currently reading Jesus Manifesto, by Leonard Sweet and Frank Viola
GOOD STUFF! You must read all of these. Kthanks.

So, now spring semester has commenced. I feel legit taking some communication classes. Yeahhh! I look forward to what opportunities God has for me and everyone else the next few months! Oh and did I mention that I will be going to Haiti in May? Yep. True story.  :)