only the world

Stress is real dumb. I seriously wonder how much time in my life I have wasted by stressing out over stuff. It makes me angry to think about it and what I could have been doing in the mean time. This year has been full of stressful moments; some to which were totally not a big deal and then some that I had a good reason to freak out. Now that I look back on all of these times and even look at my current stress problem, it's stupid. Why should I stress? People have told me to not worry about anything, it'll all work out. I completely disregard that statement when I first hear it, because I don't want to think on the bright side of anything. Stress dominates my life when it starts to happen. I feel like I'm chained to stress and it won't go away.

My problem is not that I have too much to do or that it's completely reasonable why I'm stressed. The problem is that I'm not putting my whole trust in God and realizing that He is in control. That is one of my biggest struggles currently. I just can't grasp that concept. I eventually do, near the end of all of my stress being gone. I need to just pound that in my head at the start of everything. "Be still and know..."

So, that's my rant of the day. Dumb stress...always has to complicate stuff. SUMMER IS 8 DAYS AWAY!! heck to the yes.

walking the tightrope

I'm sooopa tired, yet it's almost one in the morning and I'm not asleep. Shame on me. Just got done (or almost done) with notecards for my history final on Monday. I have been doing them all day; I'm pretty sure I have around 100...no joke. Crazy stuff. I'm still not done either. BCM formal is tomorrow or really today. I'm pretty stoked for it. I just wish I didn't have a final the next morning. AH! And it's sight-singing. boo. plus it's an intense sight-singing final. That is if you even know what sight-singing is...lol. It's lame. That is all.

Beach: Friday night and Saturday with my favorite people in the world. I'm in need of a de-stresser and the beach is the perfect place! woo. I feel like this week is CREEEEEEEPING by though, seriously. I just want next Thursday afternoon to happen. At 3:00 on that day, it is officially summer. heck to the yes. Back to good ole Headland for a good solid three months.

The last Merge of the year was Tuesday night and it kinda made me sad! Just because it was the last one. Merge has been the highlight of all my weeks since I've been at college. It's just a good way to start/continue your week, if you get what I mean. If only I could put some of my thoughts into words. My crazy brain. haha. Anyways, the topic this week was sex, relationships, etc. It was real good! Jerrod put it in a whole new perspective for me. fo reals yo.

Me, Erika, & Shanny went to the guitar ensemble concert tonight at Laidlaw and it was dangg good. I've been thinking about taking lessons from the instructor here, like with my trombone lessons, but I don't know. I'm not that great fa sho. I would indeed have my minor sooner though! Oh well though. And I now want a classical guitar, they are cool looking. They have like a thing that pops out of the side that allows you to play it easily while sitting, ah you'll have to see it. I'm not a good describer. lol.

Eric Clapton is my new bff. His version of "Over the Rainbow" makes me smile. Amazing guitarist by the way. :)

something's got a hold on me

I think Etta James is amazing. Period. She's pretty much my hero and she has some WICKED pipes. We need to be bff so she can teach me her mad skills. I like it.

The madre has been in town since last night and we've had tons of fun! She came to Mobile to get alot of my stuff to take back, since I could not even try to bring back everything in my dorm. I only had the most packed, messiest dorm in all of Epsilon and I had like four guitars in my room. haha. We got alot shoved in Bebe's tahoe (which my mom had to borrow...can you picture putting a whole bunch of junk in her Camaro?) Friday night, then finished it off this morning. Today was AWESOME! Waffle House, flea market (where I got twelve new records, I'll post the names below in a sec), Old Navy, Wal-Mart, MOE's (woooo), nap at the Hampton in the most comfortable bed everrr, downtown Mobile, Hobby Lobby, Wings, then chilling at the hotel! Fun day. :) Tomorrow: church at North Mobile, cookout at Maria's aunts' house, and seeing the Runaways downtown tomorrow night. And I also have to fit in practicing my trombone. I think it can happen. It will.

Vinyl Fest at the flea market was a tremendous success for me and mom-

1. Herman's Hermits on tour (1965)

2. The Beach Boys "Spirit of America" (1975)

3. Bee Gees 1st (1967)

4. Tommy James and the Shondells "Mony Mony" (1968)

5. The Police "Synchronize" (1983)

6. Jimmy Buffett "Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes" (1977)

7. Elton John "Greatest Hits" (1974)

8. ZZ Top "Eliminator" (1983)

9. Chicago self-titled (1976)

10. Van Halen "Fair Warning" (1981)

11. Molly Hatchet "Flirtin' With Disaster" (1979)

12. ...and a sweet Alvin and the Chipmunks one!!

Yep that's right and I got them all for $15. Good shape too. I'm excited! I was like a kid in candy store. peace love and vinyl.

hungry like the wolf

You can't really ever go wrong listening to 80's music. Just sayin. Duran Duran is some good stuff lemme tell you! I've been listening to them for a good solid thirty minutes. woo! I should probably go to sleep...it's like 1:31 in the a.m. What am I thinking? I have to wake up at 7:30 in the morning. Oh Taylor...

Anyways, last night's bible study or technically I should say Thursday since it's Saturday now, ah you get my point. It was pretty much amazing. One of my favs so far! We talked about some good stuff. I love my small group. And I'm still stoked about teaching a Fish group in the fall! YAY!

Today, I've been packing stuff up in my dorm for my mom to take home. It's been weird! No posters on my wall, my cork board is cleared, it's weird. Just weird. I feel like I just moved in yesterday...for real. This year has gone by so fast! I'm definitely doing an end of the year blog...I always do. A tradish. My bed is calling me, so HOLLA.

go fish

Today was decent. I'm currently freaking out from stress thanks to FOUR BILLION things due on Monday, but whatev. I'll get it done. I have a history paper, composition project for theory, and a presentation in seminar that I have to do. LAME. So, I've been pretty irritated lately. I do have a positive fact though. SMOOTHIE TONIGHT! I can't wait. A free one too. I get one because it was my birthday on Sunday. :)

Anyways, I found out today that I will be teaching a FiSH group in the fall and I am STOKED about it! And what makes it even better---teaching it with Mo! I can't wait. I'm super ready to meet a whole bunch a new freshmen and see them experience FiSH groups like I did. It was definitely in the top five favorite things that I've experienced in my first year of college. It's how I met all of my best friends and the bible study we did was amazing. So yay!

a sweet sound

I really don't know how I got by in life without a weekly dose of Merge. Seriously, it puts everything into perspective to go on in the rest of my week. We are currently doing a series relationships and it is pretty much really awesome! I am definitely enjoying it. Each night, with a different subject, all relating to the different types of relationships connects with me on a deeper level every time. We have discussed friendships, how to relate to non-believers, and other stuff like that. Tonight, we talked about family relationships. Real good! Anyways, my favorite part of Merge is always the music (no surprise). I feel the closest to God through music and singing praises to Him through songs allows me to express that. Somehow or another, the fact that we need to use our talents and abilities in everything we do to do God's work comes up in Merge or any other bible study, worship I'm in. I've always known what my talents were and they all have to do with music. I can also be pretty hilarious, so I've been told, so I guess that counts too. :) Anyways, when that is mentioned I realize what my talents are, but it really clicked tonight. Our last song of Merge was "I Love You Lord.." If anyone knows this song, it has the line "May it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear." Hello! That's totally my life motto for my talents/abilities. It was kinda a slap in the face. How could I have missed this before? God has blessed me with the talent to play several instruments and He has given me this talent for His purpose. It is crystal clear now. Therefore, I hope my sounds are sweet to His ear.

The last couple of weeks have been real good. Busy but good. I haven't stressed like I usually do. Some things have been on my mind, but it's all good. One question has plagued my mind for a long time now: Why and how do people grow apart in their friendship? This is probably a dumb question with an obvious answer, but I really want to dig deep into it, because I really don't get why this can happen. A typical response: A friendship may fall apart because of distance. I disagree strongly. While this can be true in many situations, if their is a mutual commitment to keep the relationship going strong, then it can be done. Try your best. This is something I have been struggling with for several months now. I blame myself. I hardly ever talk to my closest friends back home in Headland and it tears me up inside. I realize that I never take the initiative to keep in touch with everyone. I know I've sorta kinda already blogged about this, but I'm going to again. Why? Because. lol. I guess this is just something I'll have to deal with and accept. Or do something about it...

My answer to this question: A friendship can grow apart or dismantle due to changing lives and new friends. Yep. That is my best answer. I have a current situation that is DEFINITELY related to that statement. It truly makes me sad. I can't really do anything about it though. Well, I'm going to stop whining. I got off on a tangent about friendships. haha. PEACEEE

eight days a week

I just realized I have three of the Beatles' albums on vinyl and two of Ringo's! That's pretty good. I must set out on a mission to find the rest. Who would like to help me? I currently have Abbey Road, Meet the Beatles (just got it two days ago!), and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. I have been listening to the Beatles all day on my iPod. Big shock right? Yeah no. It's really interesting to listen to all of their studio albums from the very beginning to their last one and see how their sound changed and related to the time period the album was in. Or it is to me (the Beatles obsessed music nerd). And I miss Beatles rock band. Of course my mother wanted to keep it at home for her to play it. lol. Also, I want to go to Liverpool ASAP. I'd like to see where Paul, John, Ringo, and George were born and grew up. Yes, I'm serious.

On a side note, music theory is currently KICKING MY BUTT. It has always challenged me, but seriously, I am being dominated by it. Modulation? Seventh chords? Hate them. They make my life so much more complicated! I have a composition project due Monday morning and I am less than thrilled to do it. I have been telling myself to get it done this week, so I won't have to worry about it this weekend, yet I know it the back if my mind that this will not occur. DUMB.

19 years of awesome!

I really want to go to New Orleans and become bff with all the people playing instruments on the streets. Is that weird? I'm planning on taking my mandolin and play some jams down there soon. Who needs a job? Just get money that way. Before you think I'm completely out of mind, I have a reason that I mentioned this. I went to NOLA for the first time yesterday on my birthday!! I had the best time ever. Maria was with me too so it made it 23498 times better. French Market, strawberry lemonade, Marley bracelet, Riverfront, beignets, Cafe Maspero (if I spelled that right lol) and seeing lots of crazy people made my birthday yesterday one of the best I've had. To top that off, the wonderful Morgan Blankenship planned a Gone With the Wind party to celebrate my birthday! It was a grrrrreat night. My first day as a 19 year old was just what I hoped it would be. :)

In other news, I am quite excited that my YouTube channel is pretty darn popular! I mean it's not getting thousands of views daily, but people are definitely watching them, which makes me smile! Yay for mandolin playing!